Live and Learn

I can't believe it but I am already on my way back to sweet California to complete my first year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. My visit back in Medicine Hat was a good one...definitely strange returning to family and the life that I left. My family is such a blessing to me and like family usually does they push me in my character and its always a challenge to live out a culture of honour at home more than out in the public eye. Slowly the revelation is hitting me...that ministry first and foremost begins in the home...in the secret places that no one else sees but your family. The biggest obstacle in life, particularly mine, is learning to become who you are and steward your attitudes and your actions as Christ would. Home is where you first become real. It's where you love, live, learn and grow. It's the greenhouse to your garden of your heart.
I am always in a state of learning, and part of that learning is learning to accept correction and listen to it and apply it...even if its not the most splendid part in growing in my identity.
I am excited for what the new year has for me though...and God has done so much in 2010...so so much and I am very blessed for where He has taken me and where He is leading. During this past year I was working at Montana's and Starbucks saving up for school and I also staffed the Pursuit Internship DTS in Medicine Hat based out of the Global Prayer House, but BSSM has definitely been the highlight of 2010.
Where will God take me in 2011? I don't know for sure...I have some ideas but I am not stressing. I know God and that He will only lead me on a path that He has constructed ahead of me. Life is an adventure and I am just enjoying it one adventure at a time.
I cannot worry about tomorrow....my worry will not help it at all.

Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Hope you all have an amazing celebration of the new year that is coming upon us so fast! Enjoy it!
Love you!

Christmas Time

Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) is already on Christmas break...four months of living in Redding, CA and going to school there have flown by so quick! Every day at school is one of growth and of challenges...but in those challenges I grow and just come to love Bethel even more. God has been so good to me and over the past four months He has been restoring my joy but even more so my peace. The Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about the need to have a place of rest, not just in my spirit, but also physically, He has also shown me that having a place of rest and relaxing is not being passive as long as you steward your time wisely. So many times I just want to lay down and listen to Hammock (such a good instrumental band) and invite the Holy Spirit to just come and chill with me. In those times I am reminded that when I give my thoughts and even a bit of my day just to rest with the Holy Spirit it is in those times that rejuvenation and joy are restored....now its only making this a habit thats the trick.
Resting for me is a place of intimacy between God and me. He helps me to return to His loving, forgiving embrace as a daughter turns to her dad. He is my place of comfort. Psalm 62:1-2 has been my favourite verses, I've never had a favourite verse but these two have been my constant reminder of where my true peace comes from,

Psalm 62:1-2

" Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."


Although I already miss Bethel home is going good. It has been so good to catch up with family and friends and be able to share all that God is doing in my heart and the changes that are taking place, it is also good hearing whats been happening in their lives since I left Medicine Hat in September. Home has been a happy reunion....but I am not enjoying having this reunion with the cold and the snow.
Christmas time has helped me realize how truly blessed I am. I am so very thankful for everything that God has provided for me and given to me...both spiritually and even materially. It is so easy to take the simple things that God has given me in life for granted when they are so common, something that has helped me realize how truly blessed I am is maintaining this attitude of thanksgiving to God, my provider. Even thanking Him for the little things.
I am so overwhelmed by God's goodness....ah soooooo good!

Outro-Shad

These are amazing lyrics quoted by Shad....so true and oh so good!!!


We spend our lives searching like scavenges finding a way
Understanding that light is a sign of the day
So we squint in the darkness in search of a glow
And falter in trying, in trials we grow
Are hearts they seam broken
Our legs they are weak
Our tongues are exhausted from trying to speak
Cos sometimes they listen
But often they don’t
We easily help
But more often we won’t
Because we’ve constructed the things that we want
Ghosts our desires, desire to haunt
But our needs as below so above
What we all want should look a little more like love.

Restful Peace

This year at Bethel is going by far too fast for my liking....it seems to be going by so fast which is helping me realize to soak up every bit of wisdom and impartation from Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry and to definitely not take this season for granted. I am continually blown away and challenged by the speakers at my school and everything that they have spoken on has been so perfect for that time or season in my life. God has proven to me over and over and over again that His timing is perfect...and that He knows the seasons I am walking through and that He is right there beside me.
Over the past few weeks they have talked about faith, purity and relationships. The teaching that this month has had has been so vital and influential on the relationships I have now and will have in the future. I will forever remember and hopefully apply these teachings and wisdom to my life. I don't want to go through this school with potentially life-changing messages going in one ear and out the other...I want to be forever changed, challenged and transformed. Not leaving the same as when I first came to BSSM in September. Already I can sense the shift in my heart and it feels like fire coursing through my veins, I feel the shift in my life but I also feel the challenge. The challenge to push through fear and be motivated by love, the pure love of God within me.
I've also been sensing this deep place of rest. I have never felt so much peace in my life, physically and spiritually, that often times I have to take a deep breath to catch my breath. God's peace is taking my breath away. He is taking my breath away and makes my heart skip a beat and my smile broaden wide so many times in a day just because of His presence. How is it that someone so invisible can be so influential? It honestly makes me laugh when I think about everything God is doing in my life and how He is doing it. He just wants this relationship with me...and with you. Even now I giggle...yes giggle...about His playfulness. I can't contain nor can I describe everything that He is doing.
This journey is so exciting and there is so much more to it.....can't wait to share more!

Ecuador, Yes Please!!!!!

I cannot believe that it is already November and Bethel is only getting better and better! This culture that Bethel has cultivated is one that brings peace, joy and freedom. Bethel has become like a home to me and God is continually revealing more and more of Himself to me...and the more He reveals Himself to me the more I can see who I am and who God has created me to be.
This past month BSSM has had Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton and Chu Ahn speak on everything from prophecy to purity to mystics and intercession. The teaching is so amazing and I am constantly learning so much!
Every year BSSM sends out its students on missions trips all over the world and I get to go to Ecuador in March! I am so excited and have realized that I actually have a huge heart for Latino cultures. The trip will cost me a $2,000 and if you are wanting to help me get to Ecuador you can help donate online at



https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate_search



I would be so stoked for all of you to stand by me in prayer and it would help me a great deal financially.
Hope to write more soon!

Broooo

I have already almost been here for one month...and it has already been so life changing! God is changing so many paradigms within me and its amazing how having a personal relationship with God is meant to be intimate and powerful and never be the same as the day before. Its supposed to be exciting....and God is so fresh and new everyday.
This month we have had so many speakers and topics we have learnt about. Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, Dan Farrelly...and I know that there are more. Each speaker has such an amazing outlook and they contain such a wisdom...and awesome humour about them.
Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry had a week of retreats and my group (Revival Group) went to Chico with three other Revival Groups. It was amazing and so exciting to just get to know others and God more. So I was in Chico for 3 days but I was so ready to come home to Redding.
This week Kris Vallotton is speaking on the prophetic...they said that they usually wait a while longer to get to the topic of Prophecy but our class of over 800 students is apparently "ready" for this. I am so "ready" for this!

Numero Uno!

It has basically been one week since arriving in my new home in Redding, California and already I am amazing by Bethel and God and everything I have been learning. At first it was slightly overwhelming with a new house, environment, schedule....but its crazy how at home I feel in this place of everything being new and fresh. I feel such an intense peace its a sigh of relief. This is home....for now at least.
The first week has been jam packed with crazy worship sessions, teaching by Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton, and much needed ministry time. Already there is such breakthrough within me its so hard to explain the freedom that I feel right now. God just keeps speaking revelation after revelation to me about His love for me.
God has got so many crazy things in store...and everything about Him and His love is making me wonder how I lived this long without returning God with the same love, desire and passion to see Heaven invade Earth. i will most definitely keep you posted and if you are at all interested in what I am doing or have any questions to inquire of me you must most definitely write me on facebook or email.

Redding!!!!

After hours and hours of driving down with my family in an overpacked van I have finally made it to Redding, California! Its crazy that I am finally down here and in the midst of unpacking and adjusting to what my life will be like for the next 9 or so months, so far I am liking it and the weather is definitely very agreeable!
The house I am living in is a little old and i am staying with five other girls so its a pretty full house, but so far I am enjoying it...and the best part is is that Bethel is literally two minutes down the road.
My amazing family (who I just had to say goodbye to) got to experience a typical Sunday service....by typical I mean an album being recorded, words of knowledge and healings. It was so amazing and it rocked us for sure. I can't believe I get 9 more months of this!
Today is registration and then I will find out what my schedule is like for school....maybe I'll go sit in He Brew's coffee...

NEXT!!!!

The time has finally come....FINALLY! After months of counting down the day has come where I get to make my way to Redding, California to complete the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. It hasn't even completely hit me that I am leaving right away here...and I'll be entering into something fresh and new. It's so exciting but at the same time it brings a sense of anxiousness. But I know that God has led me to do this school and He is going to do amazing things and I will learn so many crazy things about the reality and relevance of the Holy Spirit in my life!
Goodbye Medicine Hat, Hello Redding!!!!!!!

I will keep you all posted in the months to come and greatly appreciate your prayers and encouragement!

The Future Is Bright

Today is the day that I am no longer a teenager...20 years of living has already come and gone and I cannot believe how fast this has happened! I remember being just 10 years old and informing my Mom that I would be 16 in 6 years and 20 in 10 years...in my mind that seemed so much farther away, but it definitely came much quicker.
I have been so incredibly blessed the my life and my family and all the opportunities i have had within these 20 years and I can only look to the future and anticipate what my next big adventure will be. I know that life will always come with the ups and the downs but it is ultimately how I choose to deal with these fluctuating attitudes and predicaments that I will face. There's no denying that there will be troubles and struggles because that is life...but through it all there is peace, and hope and most definitely a future.

My future is bright. So is yours.

get ready....

Well summer has just been flying by so far...just with work and trying to prep for Bethel in September. But at the same time it feels like September is taking it's sweet time getting here. I am so ready for a change of life, a change of mind, and a change of heart. I've been home for over a year now and it feels like forever...I knew I was prepping for something different in the following year...but I never expected to be moving down to California to go to school there. I know that it will take me out of every comfort zone or bubble i have constructed and catapult me into a whole new dimension.
Since everyone has either peaced to Eagles Nest Ranch or to some foreign country I have gotten to live through July as I darn well please which has been quite a drastic, but good, change from staffing the Pursuit Internship full time. Its been a good recouping time...but am so ready for people to return to me! My parents have been in the Philippines for the past month, but with a few set backs regarding my Dad's arm, it has been amazing for them and God has been doing so much!
What I'm really doing is just anticipating September, but not wanting to bypass this summer.


But September....really...hurry!

Counting Down, Shedding The Frown.

These past three months have flown by but have also dragged slowly on. The PURSUIT Internship has been an amazing experience and its been awesome seeing the spiritual growth take place in the students. But I will admit...I am slightly ready to have more time to myself...but also work my but off for Bethel. I know that life most likely will not slow down for me...so I better pick up the pace and get everything done that I need to get done.
I am in the midst of completing my Fitness Instructing course and am almost certified...I just have to pass my practical exam and complete my CPR which i am slightly dreading. Boo...I hate having to spend money on courses with most likely awkward people for 8 hours in a day. But its hopefully going to be worth it!.
3 months until Redding baby!

Relax...

It is so difficult to just relax these days. Being a part of this world seems to want to attach stress, worry, or fear to hearts and minds, keeping people who fall subject to it bound up with with plans of tomorrow. I have realized that even though I continually say to God that all of who I am is His, that my future is His, that today is His...I would hold tightly onto my finances and hold onto what knowing what my next step is.

In doing this...I have not let freedom reign in my life...but bondage to a poverty mentality. Letting go of this has felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and a peace has come to rest upon my mind. When times of financial need or the desire to have complete "control" of my future and my life I it has become a necessary step to remind myself that God is in control...that He knows the plans He has for me...He has given me a promise...now it is a promise that I have to choose to live by day by day. My bank account only takes me so far, my jobs can only provide so much...but God...God always provides. I am free....free to relax...free to live in peace...and free to trust in Jesus Christ.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Insanity.

For the past month (two more to go) my life has been quite amazing but also a mass ball of insanity!!! I barely have time to chill.
I am staffing the PURSUIT internship (a dts and ihop combined to bring together the missions movement and the prayer movement) and we are already a month into it...it is so awesome seeing God work in the student's lives and mine as well.
Its crazy the amount of pressure that we live under when we don't operate in the freedom God offers us. I have come to realize that I have adopted this pressure thats not mine to take up...that I have been so preoccupied, worried and fearful about finances and whats next in my life that I am not even enjoying whats happening right now in my life. Just anticipating the future and ignoring the present. I know that I have the tendancy to do that and then end up regretting my preoccupation with what is to come. I need to RELAX. God is so good that I know that I can relax, give Him everything that I have taken upon my shoulders and that He'll take care of it.
Now...I am also employed at two jobs that I work on the weekends, Montana's and Starbuck's....I dont know how I am going to juggle the PURSUIT, Montana's and Starbuck's. By the grace of God I guess. I just dont want to become so tired I transform into a zombie.
Two months left of this...but I know that itll be a time of great growth and challenges. My dad always said challenges bring character....sometimes i love that statement...lots of times its just annoying. haha.
God brings freedom and takes every pressure that is crammed into my cranium....He's pretty awesome.

Pressure.

The pressures of this world confronted me,
The worries of tomorrow surrounded me,
The stress of lack attacked me.

Thoughts enveloped my life:
Will I amount to expectations?
Do I know where I am going?
Will I have enough?

The more I worried the more frustrations mounted upon my shoulders,
The fears overtook my heart,
The complacency overwhelmed me.

Little did I know,
Lies attacked my heart,
Fear distracted my thoughts,
and worry captivated my mind.

Are the worries and fears and lies destroying the only sense of hope I have?
Is the fear of tomorrow blinding me from the promise in this moment?
Are the plans for the future distracting me from today?

What if I took every step in true confidence that God is leading me in those steps?
What if I went when He called me, and never relented to the temporary comforts of this world?
What if??????

Will I? Will we?






Live in the now. Relax. Live the life you have right now.
Dont live for tomorrow, for next year, or for later.
Live now. Before now is dead.

My Psalm

God,

You walk before me,
You walk behind me.
You make clear the paths set before me,
Which are the paths You lead me on.
I will not question Your ways,
Because Your ways are better than mine.
You have my heart on Your mind,
You will not disown, ignore, or cast aside my heart.
My heart is precious to You.
It is a gem held in the hands of love,
It is held with the upmost care by You.
I am precious.
The road that I follow,
I am not alone.
You are my protector,
You are always with me.
I will not be forgotten,
For Your eyes watch over those You love.
You are faithful,
You do not go back on Your promises.
You are the provider,
For You care for Your children.
Nothing I do can make you take back Your love,
Or say that I am not enough.
Through Your grace,
I am enough.
Your love is enough, Your grace is enough, Your power is enough.
There is no boundary to Your love,
There is no obstacle to stop Your grace,
There is no power that will take You down.
I am Yours.
You are mine.
Thank You, Jesus.

Plan A

Its Been Such A While Since I Have Last Posted Something And Not Too Much Of The Exciting Manner Has Happened That Requires Me Writing It Down Except For The Fact That I Have Applied And Been Accepted Into The Bethel School Of Supernatural Ministry Which Starts In September!!! This Decision To Go Down To Redding, California Was Actually A Quick Decision To Step Out In Faith. Fill Out An Application And Wait And See. I Had An Interview With One Of The Interns That Is Down At Bethel And It Went So Good...Just Asking Questions About My Life, Family, And Heart To Serve Jesus. After The Interview Was Over He Said That It Would Probably Take 3-4 Weeks On Letting Me Know If I Got Accepted Into The Bethel School Or Not.

Now...I'm Not The Type Of Person Where I Enjoy Waiting A Long Period Of Time To Know If I Am Accepted Into A Program Or Not. I Decided To Let God Know That. So I Prayed And Told God That I Don't Want To Have To Endure 3-4 Weeks Of Wondering If I Have Been Accepted Or Not, So If He Could Speed Up The Process That Would Be Sweet. Within Less Than A Week I Got My Acceptance Email And Screamed With An Intense Excitement That I, Jana-Marie Am Going To Bethel!!! This Is Such A Huge Step For Me And Out Of My Typical Ywam And Impact World Tours Bubble And Will Have To Somehow Finance My Food And Housing While Down There, Being Completely Unable To Work Or Have Some Monthly Income. And I Am Finally Figuring Out What Life Is Going To Look Like For The Rest Of 2010.

As Of Now I Will Be Intensely Busy With The Pursuit Internship ( A Dts+ Ihop Internship) Which Has Just Started Today In The Global Prayer House, And In Addition To Staffing Full Time To The Internship I Will Also Be Working At Two Other Jobs...So As You Can Tell My Life Is Going To Be Crazy Busy. I Cannot Wait For What God Is Going To Do In The Internship And In The Students And In Me. He Is Going To Do Some Pretty Amazing Things, Not Just With The Internship But In Bethel And For The Rest Of 2010 And Beyond.

Well Prayers Are Appreciated.

Twenty-Ten

Not even I know what exactly this new year holds for me, unfortunately. It seems like thats the theme God has going for me these past couple years. Once again...a great mysterious journey is on my hands.

For now this is the "plan" even though it can easily change, as God so amply demonstrates to me every time a choice comes my way. I'm getting used to fully surrendering every want and everything in my life to God. Starting April I will be full-time staff with the PURSUIT Internship based out of Central in Medicine Hat. The PURSUIT Internship is a Discipleship Training School + International House of Prayer Internship and its main purpose is to link prayer and missions together. I am excited for what God is going to do through the PURSUIT, what I will learn, and even being involved in ministry in Medicine Hat.

Also, a big surprise to me as well, I will hopefully be taking a course to become a certified fitness instructor. This process will take me having to study, which I'm not too big on, and also having to train intensely. (thank God I already enjoy that).

I will continue to work at Starbucks in Safeway while staffing the PURSUIT and studying to become a fitness instructor so I definitely will have my hands full. But I am welcome to the change and God altering any plans I have made.

Hopefully I will be able to keep you posted!

2009 Recap

Well a new year has already come and slapped me in the face, the speed that it has approached me was remarkable but somehow I survived 2009 and am now faced with 2010.
So many things have changed, things that I didn't even expect to happen or change, such as...my mentality of how long I would be home for, the possibilities of positive change by staying in hometown, and even my plans for 2010 and what I hoped to do.

2009 in Recap.....

Things that have happened this past year have not been at all what I expected.

Originally I never wanted to go down to Brazil to do my Discipleship Training School with GX in Brazil, I never wanted to return to Brazil and I definitely wanted to go do my DTS with people I didn't know. Well lucky me did all three, and I'm so glad I listened to God's voice instead of my desires. I learnt so much for my five months in Brazil and my relationship with God became so much stronger. Sometimes I do wonder what my DTS would've been like if I had gone on one where I didn't know many people, but God did what He needed to do in me.

Arriving home after my countdown was a sigh of relief. The outreach was so long and tiring that the sound of my own bed, Mom's cooking and everyone around me speaking english was so exciting for me. Once I got home wedding plans was almost all that I heard during July and August because my sister Katie-Lee was getting married to the man of her dreams. It was a great time to hang out with my sister and my mom more.

Thankfully we got to take a break from ribbon cutting and go on a camping trip to Banff, which I love! I love the campfires, the hiking, and getting to hang out with just the fam. We were there for a week and it was definitely a week needed and loved! Such great memories!

Katie-Lee Kroeker is no more. She's a Frey! I am so blessed to have a brother-in-law like Josh! They're in love and happily married for almost 7 months! It was such a beautiful wedding!

Not much has changed since then, just working at Starbucks and living life here in the Hat. The PURSUIT conference came and went so fast in November and it was such a powerful time of teaching and worshiping!

This year has been filled with memories....memories that i will keep in my heart, but I've got a new year to conquer! God is taking me on a journey into the unknown, I guess that's part of the wonderful adventure, and leading me more and more in love with Him!