I have been subject to routine whenever I return home from a tour with GX International, even though I make "promises" to myself about how I will not fall into unwanted patterns once back in the Hat. Every time I have made that commitment I have come home passionate, yearning for more, and with goals, but over time those goals that I have made slowly slip away and then disintegrate. Since this has happened repeatedly frustration is bound to prance onto my life, take that opportunity to destroy the new dreams and ideas that I had and bring me into a life of time-wasting and worthless wonderings. Unfortunately...every time, until now, Satan has succeeded. He succeeded in stealing my joy, my life, and my hope of living life as God intended for me right here, right now, in the Hat, and made me prey to the repeated days, the wasted time, and the media.
This is so frustrating saying this, and it still sounds lame to me, but internet was becoming my addiction, it was what I spent a majority of my free time on. Hopping around Facebook, Myspace...etc, I would throw away numerous minutes, hours, days, for a bright screen. Instead of being creative, constructive, and pursuing my relationship with God I would bypass everything and hop on the computer, first thing in the morning and late at night.What kind of life was this? I knew full well that this life wasn't what God had intended for me. I knew that there was way more for me at home than this. I was not happy. I was annoyed, frustrated and felt so dry and worthless. My times with God were limited to a few minutes of my day, because the rest of that day was spent on the internet checking statuses on Facebook.
I am very disappointed, but also very relieved, that I just recently received this revelation from God about my time. I wish that it had come sooner but I am relieved that it didn't come any later. So since this revelation blasted down the walls of my mind I have cut off all those social networking sites, for the time being, so that I will not be distracted by wallposts, photo comments, and who talked to who and pursue the real life that God has destined me for. My life is destined for more than what I have settled for and I know that this is a fact for a majority of today's youth and children.
But why? Why Media? Why Music? Why Movies? Why Games? This bright screen is what has hypnotized my nation, media is the hypnotist that we all know is here but we chose to ignore.
For me giving up the raunchy music of my ipod was a sacrifice, now...giving up the internet is a sacrifice (thats pathetic in my eyes but I know God will take it as that). God will always request Christians to sacrifice things in our lives. Not because He is the "big man in the sky" and He'll kill you if you don't (which He won't) but because God always sees long-term, He sees the benefits and the hinderances of our lives and God desires the very best, the ULTIMATE best, for all of us.
Sacrifice are the things that we hold close to our hearts that God asks us to give up for Him. Without sacrifice there will be no fire. Just like the Bible-times (except a little less bloody), God's fire would only come down when there was a sacrifice (produce, cows, sheep...etc) on the alter. We can only advance in the kingdom of God when we sacrifice the things close to our hearts, the distractions, the little things that have stolen our focus in our lives to be capable of hearing the intimate things of our Creator.
I will be honest, sacrifice sucks, but it is necessary. Since I have given up music, internet, my time I feel lighter, like I'm worth something and I didn't just waste my days.
We (Christians) need to rise up, we need to take advantage of the time we have, take advantage of our many days but one life and live in full abandon of who God is calling us to be. He is right here and is always with us. His love is in us and the same Spirit that was in Jesus is in us. We can be bold. We can rise up. We will walk in the leadings of the Holy Spirit. We are not alone.
2 Samuel 24:24 "...I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing."
